I have been focusing on finishing a coherent account of my cancer journey.
However it’s challenging to revisit past and all the junctions where life could have changed for better, where I could have had a more hopeful outcome and documenting difficult times.
That has been the reason for not writing new blogs. I am doing okay so far and am on the second cycle of Xeloda. Hair is sprouting back and a few eye brows here and there. But I know very well that they may not stay and it may soon be back to the chemo pole.
I am still on three weekly Herceptin infusions where I am routinely reminded of the reality of my life.
Meanwhile I am squeezing life out of every moment possible. I have many side effects but whatever I can manage, I do. The rest I pretend that they don’t exist.
I am looking forward to fall and for my salted caramel mochas. Kids are back in school and adjusting well.
My husband and I live in optimistic denial often but of course the thoughts of what the next scans will show linger.
I have had treatments in the last year that have failed to combat cancer progression effectively.
I could sure use some actual hope evident on my scans. A little more than my internal resilience but actual real improvement would be nice to see.
I keep my fingers crossed.