It will soon be a month since the treatment ended. I feel that I have returned to life. The colors, the smells and the touch. It all feels right again. It all feels familiar. Some of me is familiar, some of it is not. But I am getting used to it. There are things I refuse to get used to, like the pudgy chemo belly or the flabby arms but mostly I am accepting of who I am now. I wonder now, what do I need to be? As I count my blessings for my life having been spared, what is my purpose?
Do what I was doing before the interruption called cancer? But do it better? or take on new tasks ? I guess that is life…. repurpose, reinvent. I survived, how do I celebrate this life? Appreciate it to the fullest?
Today the yoga instructor was talking about resilience and mindfulness, and how challenges arrive unexpectedly and will happen to all of us. How we deal with it is where its at. How does one live in the here and now and still serve a bigger purpose. Here I was obsessing before class as to what t shirt to wear that wont show the burns around my neck from radiation and now all that matters is the deep inhale and exhale, the calm and the peace.
Its all in the mind, as long as we stay connected with it, during good times or adversity.
Its the circle of life, pay it forward, breathe, connect and stay well.