Adding it up

Yes despite 33 radiation session , I neither glow in the dark nor do I emit hazardous rays. I have had many ask me if the actual process of receiving radiation is painful and the answer is no. When I was receiving the radiation, I didn’t even feel heat or warmth.The room was usually cool and they  would always ask if I wanted a blanket.

The pain that I  had was a direct effect of a burn caused by the radiation process and its cumulative.

Relationships affect us in a cumulative way too. Its never a direct burn. Its always a sum. Life is like that too. We are a net product of all experiences , good and bad, joy and sorrow, hot and cold. The math is never accurate, its approximate, it depends a lot on the one gathering the data.

Cancer teaches math well. It helps to approximate well.You tend to round things to the next whole. I see things more complete , more whole numbers, less fractions.Subtraction is easy, things and people both. Addition is valuable.

I hated math growing up. I understand now. I always looked at the bigger picture not the problem at hand. Medicine thus was a better fit. It helps me to see survival rates of cancer approximately. Just knowing that doctors believe that this an illness that you having a fighting chance against. Real numbers are too precise. Life isn’t. Miracles don’t make mathematical sense.

Life is random and vague, where sometimes blessing multiply over and over again.