Many have noticed I have been quiet or less present and some worried about what is wrong!

To be honest, last week has been incredibly rough. The post-Radiation fatigue picked up, then I started running high fevers and ended up in the ER with a major work up and scans that showed that liver looked even worse, put on antibiotics, the next day I developed excruciating pain in my right shoulder that had me reduced to tears and wails.

Then I was drugged up for pain after which I received chemo. For the past four days I have done nothing besides taking naps or respond to a text here and there. Now I have mouth sores so I have that to deal with. Tomorrow I get my second dose of chemotherapy.

It has been overwhelming to just take a pain free breath with my liver mets causing pain with every deep breath.

I wish I could say things are great but they have not been. I don’t like to post complaints on holidays when everyone is jovial and trying to have a good time but when I am quiet most assume the worse ( which this time is kinda true).

It has been a tough year. Last thanksgiving I was post-op from ovaries surgery. The new year came as I was running fevers from liver ablation. A craniotomy and many failed treatments later, here I am . The average survival with skull metastasis is 10 months ( so I am few days short of beating those odds)

Hopefully!

I am trying to keep hope and stay the course but there are times it takes the best of me. I lose motivation.

It is a lot to deal with along with being a wife and a mom. There are days the reality of my illness sinks deeper and what may happen and there are days I brush it off and go my way.

However I do notice physical decline and to deal with that I am starting rehabilitation later this week to get my strength back if I can.

This is a long bumpy road and I am thankful for all of you who are willing to listen.

8 Comments

  1. So sorry to hear of the pain you are experiencing. Any words of comfort seem to ring hollow. I have been following your blog for a while and I have admired your courage to openly discuss the hardships you are now experiencing. I will say a prayer for you.

  2. I am so sorry you have been having so much pain. Please don’t ever worry about complaining even on a holiday. We care about you. Sending you much love from Tennessee.

  3. HI Bhabhi – sending you lots of love and prayers; you are one of the strongest woman I have met and you continue to be an inspiration during this tough fight… I am just a phone call away. I would call you but I often hesitate wondering if you would be resting or spending sometime with kids. Do let me know in any which way if I can be of any help … .. I desperately pray that all this pain goes away and the illness disappears .. miracles happen and I have come to believe in them .. fingers toes all crossed .. Bear Hug…..

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