Another Appointment today!
Hair cut and color 😂😂😂😂
Looking forward to a relatively normal day as I digest the events that started February 20th.
It all started when I went to do my annual routine breast MRI.

On that test , the edge of the liver showed lesions which looked suspicious for cancer.

I returned to the CT scanner to see if it were real lesions or artifacts.

Ct showed them again.

At this point medical team recommended investigating the entire body for evidence of cancer else where.

Bone scan was clean.

PEt scan showed more than liver involvement

Brain MRI is also clean.
So Since feb 15, I have been pretty much doing scans and appointments . Best part about yesterday was not getting further bad news.
Today I feel a bit relaxed as I see the picture a little clearly .
Thank you for getting me through this highly tumultuous , scary and unpredictable 10 days.
It is one of the hardest things I have done.

Including talking to those who clearly were unwilling to see the reality.
Three statements that I am really tired of hearing are:

Be strong 

Be Positive

Don’t give up hope
All good thoughts to say. They just don’t help me emotionally in dealing with what lies ahead.
Good attitude is important. Hope is relative and strength fluctuates daily.
Iam just being for now. Being what I know best. Being who I am.
Hope DOESNOT mean denying the reality neither does it mean burying head in the sand.  
Hope is effort , on going effort to not die before actual death. Hope is living good whatever you have not exaggerating reality that is completely unrealistic.

My kind of hope requires me to live daily and that’s all I do.


  1. I didn’t realize the pet scan had showed more than liver involvement. I’m very sorry to hear that.

  2. Oh Uzma…I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, let alone someone as kind and thoughtful as you. I’m sending you so much love. Know that we in the mets community are here for you, always, as you have been here for us.

  3. Dear Umza, your last 10 days have been the kind no-one wants to face. My thoughts are with you for the next ten and beyond – that they are far less tumultuous, that you are supported and loved from people near and far and that each moment is the as you chose. Sending love Tracy

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