Today I win!

Hello there,
My doppelgänger cells!

The rogue bunch yeah you!

We will find out next week what you are up to but today I win.

Today I win as I celebrate one more rotation of the earth and that time that I had in between the time when it was last here.

I win for a year well lived.

I win for all the things I did.

I win for every day I looked at fear and said ” fuck you”

I win when I hugged the newly diagnosed woman as she wept in my arms and told her she will be okay.

I win because I went to bed in the arms of my loving husband.

I win because my friendships are stronger than ever before.

I win because I am loved.

I win because I made to school every times parents were supposed to go.

I win because despite the hurt, my heart has love beyond any mutation you can possibly create.

I win because I reach out to all.

I win because I make mistakes and I learn from them.

I win because I fall and get up! 

I win because I do cry but then I wipe my tears and then get up and live some more.

Here I am with me and my will and I look and you and all I know is today I win!

The scans, the meds, the side effects, the fears, the grief, the loss and the disability are all part of my life but they are NOT my life.

I am my life, the whole canvas with the beautiful and the ugly.

I am today !

I am today!


8 thoughts on “Today I win!

  1. I love you, Uzma. On a day when I felt like I’d fallen into a dark grey maelstrom, i read this and breathed deeply and felt connected to you and I smiled.

  2. Thank you for the smile and expression of what a cancer-versary feels like. Mine was yesterday, it’s such a mixed bag of feelings but yeah for you! And yeah for me. What is, is. And we are – aren’t we something!

  3. You bring me hope for my daughter as she wins too! Thank you for sharing and bringing hope to a mom who felt helpless but now feel empowered.

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