Mammogram, Shemogram

Did I mention that my cancer never showed up on the mammogram? Yes all the squeezing and squishing did not result in anything useful (it has to be a man who made the first mammography machine and that too a sick one). I may have grown a third head with all the radiation I got but that damn cancer wasn’t planning on showing up on the mammo. Yes , smarty pants, I also had an Ultra Sound and that didn’t show anything either. Some stealth mode this tumor was in.

I find those women lucky whose cancers showed up in mammograms. I wish I had the chance to tell myself, it will be OK, it’s just an abnormal mammogram.

I had a mammogram 3 weeks before finding nodes in my axilla (arm pit). It showed nothing. So, no, I wasn’t slacking off on my mammograms and self exams. In fact, I found the node in my armpit and saw that doctor the next day. Being a physician, I knew, this was bad news. It was at least Stage II.

Most women cringe at idea of having a mammogram and if you are one of those, may God bless you during a Breast MRI. With DD cup, it’s not too hard to reach the plates during the mammogram, I wonder though what the A cups do, gotta hurt their backs. Mammography suites are cold and dark. It’s one of those awkward human interactions that you very quickly erase from your memory much like the time your toddler pooped and jumped in it – what happens in a mammography suite, should just stay there.  And you are not even allowed to wear deodorant! It’s funny how the technicians try and keep a straight face, even when they see something, a spot , lesion or calcification. “The doctor will call,” they say. Well I really don’t want “that” phone call, you think.

When your doctor says, he or she is so sorry, that’s when you know it’s serious. I almost cried when my doctor said, “You are a brave lady!” I told my husband I think I am dying. He asked me “Why would you say that?” I told him that the doctor said I am brave.


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